The Difficult Discussion: "What Went Wrong?"

I was just involved in a very painful departure of a team member.  He asked me the same question over and over.  He asked, "What did I do Wrong?"

It may be that he did NOTHING wrong.  So many times I have asked a person to leave my team because he or she did not have the skills that the client needed.  He did nothing wrong.  He just had the wrong bundle of skills. 

It may be that he did a lot of little things wrong.  There are unstated norms about how people behave with one another.  We question, "Am I calling you too late?" or "Is this a good time?"  If someone does not follow those rules, it may break an unspoken rule.  Too many broken rules and the whole relationship is in ruins.

It may be one really bad bit of work.  I have given people "three strikes" and then four and then five — but if the work is consistently really not well thought through, not client-ready, not of high enough caliber, I've given up hope and asked the person to leave.

What every team member who leaves unsettled by the question "What did I do wrong?" might think about is that the team leader is asking him/herself the same question.

The team lead is asking, "What did I do Wrong?" because they never want that to happen again.

Interviewing a Team Building Consultant: READ THIS! (Part One)

WHAT TO ASK A TEAM BUILDING CONSULTANT? PART ONE

So, are you planning to interview a consultant about doing a team building for your group?  Good idea.  It is useful to know how a consultant thinks about team building.

In my opinion, any team builder worth the label will know the four stages of team development, the four key issues that a team addresses and the eight dimensions that map team culture. 

Sounds like a checklist for your interview? It is! 

Over the next few blogs, I’ll provide you all you need for your interview.

For our first blog, let’s talk about the stages of team development.

The stages of team development (adapted from Tuckman) are a neat package of clear steps. 

Unfortunately, it is not so neat in real life.  Teams may move up and down these steps as new members or new goals emerge, so don’t assume that once you pass a step, you will not land on it again.

Generally, after joining a team, the first thing team members do is “test” to find the “accepted” (NOT acceptable!) boundaries for behavior (and to see what happens when the boundaries are breached!)  Your teenager does this when he misses curfew by 15 minutes.  Your team may do this by not making goals. This entry into the team and testing constitute the group process of forming.

The second thing a team does is polarize around issues – with ensuing conflict and emotion. “Why is he my equal?”  “Why do I have to get YOUR input before I act? There may be structural problems.  Some team members may not make it. Resistance to each other -- and to the boss characterizes the team, so the stage is called storming.

Resistance is overcome in the third stage as new standards evolve and are clarified, and new roles are adopted.  Intimate, personal opinions may be expressed. The team members feel comfortable with one another. This is the stage of norming, or creating agreed upon rules for team members. 

Finally, the team is able to actually perform the tasks assigned to each member. Roles become flexible, useful, and the team is focused on effective completion of tasks. This stage can be labeled as performing.

So, when talking to a team-building consultant, ask about forming, storming, norming and performing.  Ask yourself what stage you think your team is stuck in… and ask the consultant how to move past that stage….

Interviewing a Team Building Consultant: READ THIS (Part Two!)

WHAT TO ASK A TEAM BUILDING CONSULTANT!  PART TWO

When putting your team in a consultant’s hands, make sure the consultant knows the Rubin’s famous goals, relationships, roles, and procedures model. 

Rubin states that a team needs a shared understanding of GOALS.  That is, what is it that the team should accomplish?  How do we measure that?  How do we communicate our accomplishments and challenges? 

Second, team members need a clear statement of individual ROLES.  The team needs to come to a shared agreement on who will do what part of the work so the sum of the individual efforts is the successful achievement of the stated goals.

There should also be a shared agreement on the PROCESSES AND PROCEDURES the team will use to coordinate and integrate the work, make decisions, and resolve issues. Through the resolution of these issues, the team members begin to establish a way to work with each other.

Finally, the team must develop mutual the respect and trust on which effective collaboration is built. This is the value of RELATIONSHIPS.  As my colleague, Jeanne Hartley says: Many conflicts that surface in teams are not “personality” conflicts; they are the result of disagreements over team goals, member roles or operating procedures. Taking time as a team to clarify goals, roles and procedures goes a long way toward preventing or reducing interpersonal conflict.